tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4575513957731028825.post8947762238853616004..comments2009-07-09T11:21:14.292-07:00Comments on KarynLanghorneFolan: Confronting the Angry Black Woman in MeKaryn L. Folanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01238726147581833093noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4575513957731028825.post-89371052861732680312009-07-09T11:21:14.292-07:002009-07-09T11:21:14.292-07:00Hi, Karyn
Great post! This comment really hit hom...Hi, Karyn<br /><br />Great post! This comment really hit home with me:<br />"That’s because in black women what would be considered little more than assertiveness in a woman of another race, often gets painted as something much more strident. The slightest expression of displeasure is read as neck-rolling, finger-waving dressing down."<br /><br />This reminded me of an incident with one of my professors last semester. I expressed my displeasure with something I felt was unfair and later on when class started he felt the need to tell the class what I said to him in private, concluding his statement with "You guys should have seen Muse - she was shaking her neck and everything!" He then proceeded to roll his neck, imitating something that never actually happened.<br /><br />I was shocked and completely caught off guard. I had no idea how to respond in that situation, so I didn't.Makeda_Tunihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04891878369124640536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4575513957731028825.post-11760093752958493952009-06-18T13:07:39.737-07:002009-06-18T13:07:39.737-07:00Hey Karen, I saw your blogsite mentioned over on P...Hey Karen, I saw your blogsite mentioned over on Prosechild's site.<br /><br />Under those circumstances, I would have wondered for a few secs why I wasn't getting waited on and I would have then said, "Excuse me, but I would like some ice cream?" And I would have made eye contact and said it with an authoritative voice. I've found that usually gets a quick response of some sort, and it usually puts the other person on the defense. That usually causes the person, especially in that type of position to become apologetic or to snap into action to wait on me. That almost always works. <br /><br />If the person becomes defensive in a negative way, I then refuse to talk to him/her and will cut them off and say, "I need your supervisor's (or the owner's) name and number." At this point, the person becomes almost always becomes very apologetic and that usually defuses the situation. I'm still not ANGRY at this point because my goal is to get what I'm there to get. <br /><br />What I'm saying is that I usually will assert myself before I get ANGRY and that's something I learned to do early in my life to prevent me from becoming really ANGRY.LOL! This is actually a way to protect myself because when I pop, I really POP!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03807361585300096844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4575513957731028825.post-76465020560155638832009-06-16T10:58:57.351-07:002009-06-16T10:58:57.351-07:00I suffer this same quandary all the time - wanting...I suffer this same quandary all the time - wanting to be assertive and stand up for yourself without playing into negative racial stereotypes. There's such a fine line between appearing angry and speaking up, especially in the heat of the moment. And I resent the fact that we are probably the only race of women that have to deal with this question before we speak our minds.<br /><br />Don't even get me started on the Tyler Perry garbage... I wish black women would stop bankrolling foolishness. I'm usually lenient on black women when it comes to pointing fingers, since we get blamed for SO much. But I don't see black men or any other group supporting his garbage like black women do. He ties with Michael Baisden as the #1 spot on my protest list!Prosechildhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09442777107640774699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4575513957731028825.post-79408565547792121862009-06-16T08:01:09.987-07:002009-06-16T08:01:09.987-07:00I feel ya! I think you did the right thing by wr...I feel ya! I think you did the right thing by writing the store management. I actually use a free service, <a href="http://www.planetfeedback.com" rel="nofollow">PlanetFeedback</a>, for this purpose.<br /><br />peace, VillagerAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05001965827509309490noreply@blogger.com